Thread: Damn Dirty Apes - I WANT MY MTV!!! (atn: JT Mogul 8/17/09 - Haven)

Written by Moose

Shit!!!!!! How the fuck did this happen!!!!!!

He recalls the night to the best of his ability.

He woke up hungry, not realizing it’s been days since he went to bed. He did his usual drag his happy ass out of bed routine, and headed for the fridge to grab a beer, and the fridge door was now laying knee high to him, tilted sideways. He looked inside to see, that not even his beer was safe, broken bottles and alcohol all over the kitchen floor.

“What the fuck!!!!” crossed his mind as he snapped to, getting a lil’ pissed at this party foul. Alcohol abuse.

He then wandered into the living room, seeing 4 indentations on the floor where his couch used to be. His front door bashed in hard. He walks over to the box popping packing peanuts under his feet. He looks at the box the new TV used to be in. “52 in. Sweet!!! Then sees it empty and a smattering of packing peanuts. “Fucking Tino!!!! I told him to give me a heads up before shipping that TV here!!! Asshole!!!! You never fucking listen to me Tino!!!! Fucking dumbass!!!” He slams the box down.

He then moves toward his splintered front door. He looks out the doorframe where his door used to be. Nope, no JW literature or girl scout cookies.outside, However the crooks didn’t take the phone book or the “Bamboo house” Chinese take out menu on top of it.

Hmmmm…Might have to check that place out. He then notices that his garage door is wide open.

Oh Shit!!!!! They better not have!!!!!

He grabs the phone book and the menu flinging them into the center of his place. Hurriedly stomping towards the garage area popping packing peanuts, he checks the garage area. It’s completely empty.

No signs of his bike or the floor buffer. He loses it, screaming “Mother fucker!!!” out to the rest of the street loudly so the echoes reverberate. He goes to the garage door and slams it down hard. No creaking noises are heard as it slams the ground. That's odd. WD-40 maybe?

“Fuck!!! Now what am I gonna do!!!” He then tries to remember if he left anything important with the bike. He thinks there pondering it over for few moments. "Nope I took the burger out. Gave it to the rats and they ate it." Then the light bulb hits over his head. Oh Shit!!!!! Otto’s bottle!!!! Somebody’s gonna get a tummy ache!!!
And they stole Maddelena’s cool bear. Oh great !!!! She’s gonna fucking kill me now!!! “What the fuck else could go WRONG!!!!”

He looks over and sees that the floor buffer is gone. Finally they did something right. Got rid of that fucking thing. Saved me a trip to the dump. Prick prince fucking Stan!!!!

He then looks for rats Cross and Sabre. No sign of em. “These guys are low for taking my guard pets. Fucking Bastards!!!!”

He goes back into the living room really pissed thinking of what to do next, pacing, popping packing peanuts all the while. He pulls out his cell and texts out to Stan, Tino, and Otto leaving them a very nasty mad message.

“Shit!!!!!! I’ve been fucking robbed!!!! They took everything!!!! Get your asses down here right this fucking minute!!!! And could one of write a message and leave it this PO Box (OOC he rattles it off) telling Maddelena that someone stole her fucking bear from my place. Thanks. I’ll be here!!!! Got no wheels atm. Shit!!!!! Goddamn motherfuckers!!! *end of text*

He’d sit down on his table, but its gone too. He stays there waiting for people to show.

Thanks for this fucking place Eddie!!!!!

WRitten by Luke hentges

Stan will send a text back to all three.
"I will take care of Maddelena, see you all at the auction."
Stan will go to the PO Box and stake it out till it is time for the auction to start.

Written by Zachary

Lazarus climbed the clans car and looked about the slumish housing area. These projects were one of the most fool things he had seen in some time. Everything he smelt he could taste. He immagined the sewers ran rapit with piss and needles. though he didnt have anything to worry about from the needles he still was absoultly revolted. He looked at what they called a yard and it was as pitiful as anything else in this area. He smiled alittle trying to make the best out of a shity situation.

He finaly looked up to the house and saw that the door was bashed and became worried. he had his pistol in the back of his pants like normal. He took a friends suggestion and put the hollow points in the round. He reached slowly into the back pocket and drew the weapon. The darkness would help him be consealed as he approached the house he could see from the splintered door way that it was trashed. He shook his head abit before he said low enough for a kindred to hear him " JT you there?"

He didnt enter he staied out side to make sure that he would have an exit strat in case of the prowler or murder was still inside. He hoped that he wouldnt have to deal anything to crazy but he would be down for a little bit of nasty. He suspected that if JT was there he would be pissed. He called out again"JT You alive" He cocked that hammer and gripped the pistol a little tighter ready to fire if need be.

Written by Moose

JTM hears an unfamiliar voice outside his place calling out to him.

Who the fuck is bugging me now!!! Can’t they see I’m fucking busy!!!!

He goes to the window, more popping sounds follow him as he walks there. He looks out to see someone with a ritzy car with a pea shooter pointed at his place.

Who the fuck is this yahoo???? Definitely not Tino that’s for sure.

He goes to the open door, bat drawn staring pissed at this guy out front, pointing it at him waving it all the while.

“Hey dipshit!!!! You realize you stick out so much here!!!! What the fuck are you thinking!!!! Put that pop gun away and pull that fucking thing in the garage. Damn can you be that fucking stupid!!!!!”

He doesn’t even wait for this man’s reply, but goes to the garage door and opens it. He motions for the guy to pull the car in, just to fill his now empty garage with something, grrumbling mad.

Great!!! I bet the neighbors really love me now

Written by Zachary

Lazarus sees who he has been looking for and smiles abit. He shakes of the Dipshit comment for now and realized that he is the Grain of Salt in the Pepper Shaker. A white guy at a rap consert or vise versa with a different tune. He nodded to his driver to do as he was instructed and smiled abit as he looked around. He holstered his pee shooter in his back and looks around as a few heads are peeking out. He looks back to JT and knows that it is going to take more then his wit to get the information he needs.

"What the fuck happend here JT? Fuck man you sleep heavy! My Car isnt going to hit anything in your garage is it?"

He was kidding and knew that it would go to far. He puts both his hands up to say be chill

"JT i have a question to ask of you and ill get my Ritzy Noble blood out of your slum. I have information that the Prince needs to know about and i dont have his address. You help me. in return I'll help get your shit back...And then a little more if needed. So take your big aggressive ass inside and write me what your missing, In return ill take that address and perhaps a mild friendship later on in this unlife we both posses."

He stood there and crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame. "Before you get pissed just like you all have away of doing for no reason just know I'm willing to help you."

Written by Moose

JTM stares back at this pompous ass in his driveway complete with goofy driver.

“No dipshit!!!! I had a neighborhood garage sale and they cleaned me out!!!! Jesus!!! (rolls his eyes at him) God can you be that fucking stupid!!!! Maybe I should talk to your driver. He probably wouldn’t piss me off now would he? Maybe I should pay him to have him drive your dipshitty ass off a bridge or a big fucking ditch!!!!"

JTM gets more pissed as this guy just stands there asking for a list of shit that was taken.

When did I become this dipshit’s little bitch!!!! Him telling me what the fuck to do!!!!! Does he realize who he’s talking to!!!! Wait wait…Maybe he wants the other JT and got it all mixed up God I need to get to killing that other JT. He’s making my life a living hell!!!

JTM calms down a bit….several minutes pass. His anger returns.

“Ok, you want to meet with “Kris Kross make your daddy jump!!! Jump!!!”? His stupid ass is probably planted tightly in a chair at the Museum in this city. You gonna give him some good news? Like vampiric crabs or some shit like that? Tell him to buy the big bottle of cream, and that should clear that shit right up. And remind him to stop humping the city and the help. So fucking tacky too. Not a proper princely thing to do either. Shame shame on him. You know rumors happen like that too. Remind him, he still owes me 20k too. He’s overdue so there will be interest added too. You wanna mention I got broken into. Fine by me. Tell that punk bitch, if he wants to talk, I’ll be here and I aint coming to him either. The rest of the city might, but I aint his little puppet!!! Fuck that noise!!! He can fucking march his happy ass over here for a change."

He looks back at him laughing a bit.

“As to what got stolen…like Cross would lift a fucking finger for me anyway, but they took my new TV, my couch, and most important of all my prized possession, my fucking bike. I told everyone in this damn city, not to fuck with it…guess someone wasn’t listening or paying attention. I’m definitely gonna bash that person’s skull in if and when I find em, and then let the others here that gave me shit deal with them next. I get a great housewarming gift from Otto, a cool fucking bottle of this city’s finest (OOC fingers doing the quote thing) “red wine” and now its fucking gone. Along with a cool little fuzzy headless bear that I got from Maddelena. The only cool thing I’ve got in awhile too. I packed em in the saddlebags for safe keeping. And look at what fucking happened now? “

He stares blankly with an angered look on his face.

“So now you got a deal dipshit….oh wait I mean Mr Dipshit…Forgive my manners. Now you can go plant your head up Cross’s ass..just like everyone else lately has been, get back in that piece of shit car, tell your driver to back it out, avoid hitting my mailbox, and haul ass to Cross tattling on me all the while.”

He waits a moment and adds “Please.”

He then doesn’t skip a beat though.

“Now what the fuck you just standing there for!!! Get off my fucking property, right fucking now!!!! GET!!!!”

Written by Bob

Otto walks up to the house, noticing the disarray he pauses, listenting to make sure their is no active brackage going on. He approaches the house and then realizes there is people in the garage "Hello....." he calls out.

WRitten by Zachary

Lazarus found the information he was looking for in compleat honesty he had nothing to tell "Kris Kross". He was looking for something far more valuable and now that he finaly had a place to look for him he knew that he would be able to get all the information that he needed and along with it the spot that he wanted most of all. He patted his pocket and pulled out a small role of hundreds. He tossed it to JTs feet.

" I dont give a fuck if you want the cash or not but for Fuck sake JT quit whining your a Fucking Rabble go find the fuckers and take care of them proper. Ill keep my ears to the pawn shops and see if anyone has tried to sell your shit." He smiled in that silly Ventrue manner and walked to his car in the garage. on his way he eyed the whole situation.

"JT if you need a painter I can give you the number to guy that painted my house."

Lazarus new better then to push to hard he didnt want to piss him off he knew that Brujah much like this one deal in respect and the gun. He wanted to put it out there the was not to be pushed over but worked with. He had what people needed and needed what people had. All would work out in the times to come and it was only a matter of time before it all came around his way.

He says under his breath

"Fuck this whole damn area needs a fucking fire."

He opens the door to the car and sits down in the seat instructing the driver to leave. And will do so unless stopped.