Thread: K-JTM: Part 2

K-JTM

JTM: Ah ha!!!! Mini’s got the wheel. That little lady can turn the wheel all by herself. I taught her well, so we are in good hands.”

He then starts playing T-Pain and the Lonely Island’s “I’m on boat!!! Watching it get *BEEP*ed every other word.

JTM:” Anyway lets go to our next caller. K-JTM you are on the air.”

Kendov: “Yes JTM.I don’t know where to turn to. My sisters are having problems and my classmates made me do something bad to her.”

JTM: ”Cool Kendov. Hhmmm…Oh wait….YOU got this one Barbie. Seems right up you alley.”

Barbie: (dead air)

JTM” Yeah I totally agree with you Barbie. They need a timeout and some serious therapy. Seek counseling Kendov. I’m sure Mackenzie could book you a good appointment to listen to you. Not on my couch though, unless you spanked her hard that is. Good for you if you did. Don’t know how many times I’ve told you to take the initiative. But a cat fight is always good for ratings. Flinging clothes. Gotta add a pool with pudding or some *BEEP* like that. (chuckles).”

Alec: ”That’s a boy that needs some serious counseling. I agree.”

JTM: “ We aren’t even going beyond that. You never know who might be *BEEP* ing listening. Next caller. K-JTM, you are on the air.”

Jasper: “Mogul man. Sup, bro. What’s up with your bat, dude? What makes it so special?”

JTM: Good question. Sorry Alec I thought they’d have something for you this time. My bat…..hmmmm…lets just say I did someone a big favor at one point in my life and I got sick and tired of breaking my wooden bats all the time. So as payment, he crafted this one of a kind bat for me with that added touch of the red lettering that stamps itself on people. Imprinting, it’s the way to go he said. Those were good times.”

Jasper: “How did you and Barbie meet, dude?”

JTM: “That’s an easy one. Wal-Mart, Jasper. I walked into the toy aisle one time, and wholla there they all were, but this one called out to me more. I’ll never forget the first day I released her from her packaging. Good times She was very greatful for that and the big hug I gave her afterwards. Love ya, Barbie. (kiss)”

Jasper: “Thanks man. I’ll call in again. This show kicks *BEEP* (click)”

JTM:”(laughs) I love that button. So hopefully we can get a question for you Alec. Guess you aren’t as hot as Barbie or myself. (chuckles) So where are my diaper stocks anyways?”

Alec: ”Oh ummmm..according to what I’ve been told we need to get a hold of Maddelena.”

JTM: “You gotta be *BEEP* ing me!!! I don’t want her screaming all over the airwaves let alone *BEEP* ing and cussing at me. Glad they locked her up.”

Alec: ”They locked her up? What are you talking about?”

JTM: (chuckles then dead stops) “You mean she’s loose. Quick, get the paddy wagon out there and catch her in their nets. Abort!!!! Damn!!! Just what I want to hear. Now I could see her calling me right this very second. Speaking of which hmm…”

He looks at the phone, all of them lit up. He pushes the button for the next caller.

JTM: “You are on the air with K-JTM….”

Maxwell: “(interrupting him pissed) *BEEP BEEP BEEP* JTM!!! You too Barbie, you gutter trash plastic *BEEP* Get of the *BEEP* ing air!!! You are *BEEP* ing embarrassing the *BEEP*ing clan and me you stupid dumb *BEEP* mother *BEEP*!!! (click)

JTM: (dead air for a few seconds) “ Wow!!! Maxwell is really *BEEP* ing mad at us now Barbie!!! (laughter) What else is *BEEP* ing new? Do you have to put up with *BEEP* with your family, Alec?”

Alec: “What are you talking about? I hardly see them. I see you more.”

JTM: “Speaking of your family, did all the diapers get sent to all the BABIES in the mansion? Just curious plus our listeners wanna know. ”

Alec:”Yes. I believe they did. They all quit crying. The big one included.”

JTM: (chuckling) “Cool. Good to hear that. Well that all the time we have tonight. Thanks for coming down, Alec. Now go relieve Mini-Barbie. She’s probably got a cramp in her wrists from turning that wheel. To our listeners. I’m JTM and this is my lovely female co-host Barbie saying goodnight till we come back talking more topics with our next special guest. Hope to catch ya when K-JTM comes back on the air. We’re out.”

He hits the ending theme song. Lady Gaga’s “Love Game” kicks on playing. He starts to try to change the song, but no luck. He then kicks the CD player causing an abrupt scratching noise and quick fade out as he screams pissed at the crew “Which one of you bastards did that!!!” in the broom closet cruising to his next broadcast destination.

-Moose Moyar