Thread: Topic of the day: Favorite Joke (please keep it pg-13ish)

Well I think that excludes all of my jokes.

There are two muffins in and oven, One looks to the other and says "Damn its hot in here." The other muffin says "HOLY SHIT!!! A TALKING MUFFIN"

How do you catch an elephant???
First you dig a BIG hole, big enough to hold an elephant, obviously.
Then you fill the hole with ashes so that the elephant doesn't see it.
Next you put peanuts ALL around the hole to tempt the elephant.
When the elephant comes up to eat the peanuts.....
YOU KICK HIM IN THE ASH HOLE!

I was told this joke by my cousin's 5 year old daughter which made it funny and cute cause she really hammed it up when she told it.

Why didn't the ghost go to the dance?
Cause she had no-body to go with!
((Place super-adorable kid's smile here))

An ex-con gets out of jail and tries to find a job. Problem is noone will hire him being an ex-con. So he finally breaks down and goes to the Zoo resigned to even shovel out cages. He talks with the head zoo keeper and gets a job shoveling out the ape habitat, and the Apes get a new target. At first he hates the job but eventuelly he learns to love it. Then the main ape ( Bobo ) dies and zoo attendance will fall. The ex-con is afraid when the main zoo keeper calls him in to the office. The zoo keeper tells the con that he will have to let him go because when it gets out that Bobo is dead no one will come to the ape exibit. The con begs for his job so the zoo keep pulls out an ape suit and tells him he has to wear it and pretend to be Bobo. The con fearing unemployment agrees and is soon romping around the ape exibit. Soon he runs outside and starts swinging from one of the ropes and it snaps sending him sailing over into the Lion exibit. He lands and sees one of the Lions start to charge him and he starts screaming for help. The Lion pounces on him starting to bite down on his face " Shut up fool or we will both loose our jobs"