Thread: Sanctuary (Calhoun Only 7-2-10)

The puppy that she had left six months ago was still a puppy as he scurried out from under the bed and yipped at her as though he would protect his own domain. His teeth beared the cute cotton ball tried to look furocious but only ended up being comical.

"He missed you too." Calhoun sad softly from the doorway. "If ... if you need anything Miranda, please don't hesitate to call me. You know which pipes to tap."

"I need you," she murmured without turning around or opening her eyes.

Calhoun stands stunned and quiet for a full minute, as if he'd counted the seconds. He draws up a little breath and says, "Do you hunger? I could get you some food. If you want I... I can stay and read to you today. We never did finish Leaves of Grass."

Miranda turns to look at him, warring emotions in her face; love, hope, shame and fear.

"Do you know, Nate, what was worse for me than the hell of the past few months? This last week, when I was so sure that of course you had to know I was here, that I was so sure you must hate me for running away... It was like living in a black hole. Eternity seemed so dark and pointless, it felt like a crushing weight that would eventually drive me mad."

"I spent countless hours wondering, what is the point, what reason is there to face the endless night?" Miranda takes a few steps in his direction, but doesn't touch him, not yet.

"My reason is you Nate," she whispers. "Please let me be selfish tonight. I need to feel you because right now the nightmare seems just around the corner and any minute now I will wake and you will be gone."

"My reason is you Nate," she whispers.

Calhoun looks at the floor, "Don't say that."

"Please let me be selfish tonight. I need to feel you because right now the nightmare seems just around the corner and any minute now I will wake and you will be gone."

Calhoun closes his eyes tightly. "Miranda..." He tries to find the words but, they escape him. The conflict on his face clear, his desire and what he feels is right.

"I," He steps towards her reluctantly, one foot and the another until she's in arm's reach. Looking at his hands the illusion he crafted for her and the world, a memory of what he once was, seemed thin and fake. His monsterous appearance was all that he could see. He hated letting his burned flesh touch such perfection as her milky soft skin, he defiled her with his presence, his stentch and she was all the more an angel for ignoring it.

Barely his finger tips touched her arm and urged her towards the four poster bed. "I think you just need some rest. Things will be clearer to you soon."

She gently touches his fingers on her arm before looking up at him, the flicker of hope in her eyes fading. "So it's true then?" Her voice breaks and she swallows. "I've never deserved your love, or the compassion and care you showed me, and now I've let it slip away."

Her touch on his hand falls away, shame flooding her face before she turns her head, trying not to let him see how her control is slipping.

Calhoun looks as though he's been punched in the gut for a moment as she looks away, quickly he brings himself back to his normal composure. "If I could change the nature of what we are for you Miranda... I would. No one deserves love and joy in this terrible world more than you - but it has always been this way. We are... what we are and to lead you on with a lie would be far more cruel a thing to do to you."

He drops his voice, "I'm sorry." He pauses before adding, "Perhaps it would be best if I go."

Miranda visibly flinches at Calhoun speaks, her body shudders as if struck with a physical blow. "Always?" She looks at you with wide, horrified eyes. "You never..."

The blood tears begin to flow as she tries to move past him to the door.